July 6, 2010
If you’ve seen a sci-fi movie in the past 20 years, you know a NYC cabbie getting out and running can only mean one thing: Fucking alien invasion. It’s been nice blogging for you guys. See you in Humanoid Tribe #2041 next week!

If you’ve seen a sci-fi movie in the past 20 years, you know a NYC cabbie getting out and running can only mean one thing:

Fucking alien invasion.

It’s been nice blogging for you guys. See you in Humanoid Tribe #2041 next week!

6:35pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZWxRIykPhb0
(Notes: 82)
  
June 24, 2010

A crime has been committed.

Last night at precisely 9:42pm EST, the Chipotle on the corner was targeted.

The victim: One bottle of Tabasco sauce.

It was stolen audaciously, in plain view of several customers and staff.

Please join together with your fellow Chipotle enthusiasts to form a “neighborhood watch program” to help deter this kind of activity in the future.

Related: I got a used a bottle of Tabasco sauce last night.

11:30am  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZWxRIyhcuMH
(Notes: 7)
  
June 19, 2010
Nope. It was just a taxi dropping somebody off. A gratuity was calculated. A transaction was made. A car drove away.

Nope. It was just a taxi dropping somebody off.

A gratuity was calculated. A transaction was made. A car drove away.

1:01am  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZWxRIygZAQI
(Notes: 2)
  
June 19, 2010

We may have something here. There might be a situation.

12:59am  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZWxRIygZ9Tc
(Notes: 1)
  
June 4, 2010
Hey everybody! Welcome to Natureworks! We have balloons and signs and we’re here to tell you about our new healthy fast food with free deli oh fuck it nobody cares.

Hey everybody! Welcome to Natureworks! We have balloons and signs and we’re here to tell you about our new healthy fast food with free deli oh fuck it nobody cares.

1:20pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZWxRIydaPtw
(Notes: 15)
  
June 3, 2010
OMG WE HAVE A TRAFFIC JAM HERE. Whew, it’s over. The light changed. OH WAIT NOT AGAIN.

OMG WE HAVE A TRAFFIC JAM HERE.

Whew, it’s over. The light changed.

OH WAIT NOT AGAIN.

1:33pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZWxRIydNm14
(Notes: 5)
  
June 3, 2010
Breaking News According to reports from several witnesses, this dog shit on the sidewalk this morning. NYPD is on the scene and has formed a perimeter around the affected area. Residents are urged to remain indoors until an all-clear signal has been given.

Breaking News

According to reports from several witnesses, this dog shit on the sidewalk this morning. NYPD is on the scene and has formed a perimeter around the affected area. Residents are urged to remain indoors until an all-clear signal has been given.

10:52am  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZWxRIydMNeL
(Notes: 2)
  
June 1, 2010
Check us out in the Local directory! Thanks so much to you guys for recognizing that the best kind of Local is Hyper Hyperlocal! (Coming soon: Hyper Hyper Hyperlocal! All the news and information you need on my kitchen, direct to you!)

Check us out in the Local directory!

Thanks so much to you guys for recognizing that the best kind of Local is Hyper Hyperlocal!

(Coming soon: Hyper Hyper Hyperlocal! All the news and information you need on my kitchen, direct to you!)

4:34pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZWxRIyc-iaj
(Notes: 17)
  
May 31, 2010
NYPD responding to a call at the COSI on the corner. Or they wanted some of their delicious bread. Either way, this is news.

NYPD responding to a call at the COSI on the corner. Or they wanted some of their delicious bread. Either way, this is news.

12:59pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZWxRIycnE3W
(Notes: 3)
  
May 30, 2010
This place is never open. As far as I know. But that’s okay. Anything inside would have to be a letdown.

This place is never open. As far as I know. But that’s okay. Anything inside would have to be a letdown.

1:41pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZWxRIycbFgJ